Go no further than Archie McPhee, the venerable kitsch store in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle. Whenever I need a creative kick and/or a chuckle, this is the place to go.

Here’s the latest email they sent:

Yowza! Take a gander at all the amazing new stuff we have at Archie McPhee.

TOAST WALLET
This amazing toast wallet lets you imagine that your pocket is a toaster with a fresh warm piece of toast sticking out. And not just regular toast, but toast with all your credit cards, identification and money! The top of the wallet even sticks out of your pocket so that everyone behind you can see that it’s done.
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11823.html

PICKPOCKET WALLET
What better place for a warning about pickpockets than on a wallet? Using this wallet will remind you to be careful every single time you use it. A must for fans of stick man warning signs!
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11827.html

NIHILIST MINTS
OK, so we’re calling them mints, but they don’t have any mint in them. Nihilists believe in nothing and that is the flavor these have - nothing. There is sugar in them, so there’s a bit of sweetness, but otherwise they truly taste like nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11833.html

GARLIC MINTS
If mints that taste like nothing aren’t your thing, how about garlic flavored? A whole industry exists just to get your breath smelling good and, frankly, sometimes your breath just doesn’t need to be fresh. These are guaranteed to keep away vampires, werewolves and people with a sense of smell.
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11839.html

BACON MATS
Place mats for carnivores. Put these stylish bacon patterned Bacon Mats under the breakfast dishes and your guests will admire your taste and have difficulty locating the bacon on their plate. If you were fighting a bacon war, the pattern on these is what your camo would look like. And, just so you know, a bacon war would be the most delicious, crispy war ever waged.
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11830.html

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