by Taylor Scott - Entercom Kansas City

Ok, ok, everyone’s had at least one attack of the “technospeak” spot right?, You know the one I’m talking about. “Come by Bills Auto and get your free inspection of the cabrium floydnian valve extensions plus we’ll check the spitzer valve and ramp up the deceleration accelerator harness!” I’ll bet you actually tried to read that with a conversational delivery didn’t you! I’ve found a few techniques that will help you re-write the copy so that it can be delivered in a way that will allow all to understand the pitch better.

Re-writing copy to sell the product creatively is going to be challenging, especially if the client doesn’t want a “humorous” take on the final copy revision. “C’mon, we can really make this a funny spot”, Yes, yes we can, but that not might be what the client had in mind so, what do we do?

First, we take a good long look at the copy, find the common ground and then re-write it to deliver something Mr. or Mrs. Smith can comprehend and explain to anyone what they heard on the radio (or television). More than once I’ve taken a script that was obviously written by a non-professional copywriter, and turned it around to deliver the product creatively and, here’s the important part, effectively.

So, if we take the opening sentence of “Come by Bills Auto….” and then turn it into “Bills Auto can inspect those hard to reach parts, like the cabrium floydnian valve extension, the spitzer valve and Bill can even fix that sticky gas pedal” The sentence flows better and it’s understandable, even to a non-technospeaker like me because I knew what Bills Auto could do for me. If you practice writing like you speak then you have conquered half the battle. Here’s a great practice routine, pick up the yellow pages, open it to any page and write a 60 second spot on the first ad you see. Write it like you speak and then read it aloud and see if you can sell yourself the product.
I see this all the time, and I know you have too. Technospeak is great for Technogeeks, but when you are trying to sell the product to a broad audience then you have to write it cohesively. What I may understand and comprehend isn’t necessarily so for the rest of listening public. I equate it with reading to a 4 year old, sure they’re right there with you the first 3 or 4 pages of the story, but interest suddenly wanes when they discover that raisin on the floor, or see dust particles dancing in the sun. You have to get them and keep them for the entire spot.

But what if the client doesn’t like the revision? Well, that’s where tact comes in handy, I don’t know of any client that I’ve dealt with that didn’t respect my knowledge or abilities and trusted my opinion. If I can give them something that will sell their product, and garner repeat business then I’ve done my job. The AE keeps their client happy, I’ve done some good work and the world spins the way it should.